Figment

I haven't actually decided quite what to entitle this. It's going to be Figment of ___ something like hope, love, imagination, my mind.

I'm not sure if the meaning of this poem will be quite clear but it refers to a young man I thought myself in love with in 2007. Though I will always like him a great deal I am almost certain that I wasn't really "in love".

Forgive the lack of punctuation and there is at least one place where I haven't decided on the correct word to use.

It started out as a beautiful thing
An object of love and delight
Now I sit and stare at it
An object of pain and spite

T'was odd to me at first to love
Something beyond my wildest dreams
Tenderly my heart took hold
Filled with many lofty schemes

This dream stayed outside my reach
But I was young; hope springing new
Loving on was easily done
Earnestly, sweetly staying true

Time (weeks, months) passed as years to my heart
The object loved, now out of sight
My mind played o're remembrances
That kept love alive and bright

To these memories I added
What I wanted to see
Thinking fondly all the while
"This is what it could be."

Before I knew what I had done
I had so greatly altered it
That little beauty could I find
In my love once brightly lit

The truth revealed hurt me deep
What I'd been loving wasn't true
I loved not what it really was
But my awful dream in lue.

Worthy was it of high esteem
Of love and honor most high
But I myself had played the fool
I had dreamt and believed a lie.

This my lesson's sober thought
Teaches me to deeply love but few,
Speak the truth to even myself
And curb my imagination too.

Friend, loving long is great and good
Even thought it does cause pain,
But loving with no hope - beware!
Love, but do not love in vain.

-Laurie Michael, Winter 2007